Being a mother is not always a happy time, nor always a frustrated job. But rather ups and downs.
The problem arises when you find yourself going deeper and deeper down and starting with not enjoying any of the ups in your life.
I faced this problem...and still trying to overcome it till now. Depression is this era disease, it comes slowly in a way you it can't be noticed, everyone around you will try to convince you that it's a normal phase of being a mother, that you just need a day break to go out for shopping or hang out with some friends. But it never fades away by itself. Some will advise you to pray little bit more, but not every time prayers help. You found yourself sinking in a deep ocean with no way up. I tried all remedies; spiritual, religious, relaxation, herbs...everything but in vain. Till the time i started dreaming of suicide. In a daily basis i dreamt of my death in all possible ways...i started to sit down in my room for the whole day crying with no reason, I started to not enjoying all the things that used to make me smile. And one night I decided that i need help, I can't help myself nor anyone around me can help me. My husband and my mother were against going to a psychiatric they have that vision of only loonetic people in moovies screaming and banging their heads to the wall going to psychiatric. But against their wish i went to see one.
My first visit was so stressful I felt not on ease talking to a stranger about my life and my deepest fears. Then it became more easy and comfortable by time. The first step of the healing was accepting the help and acknowledging that i have a problem. I was overloaded with burdens, and i stayed strong for so long that all my nerves went down in a second.
After few months I feel much more better, I started to regain my normal me...I'm not totally recovered yet, but I'm glad with my progress. I know it will take time. And i will sometimes face some breakdowns, but I'm learning mot to take everything on my shoulder. Try to leave somethings to time or to someone else to worry about.
If you ever feel thst you're going through that mood, always seek medical help, don't listen to our stereotyping culture that inhibits us and leaves us to drown. You are not alone nor exagerating....seek for help before it's too late.
