Sleep deprived

Spending 3 days in a raw sleep deprived is something all mothers know and faced at least once in their motherhood life. This week I spent 3 days sleep deprived and I had to do all my daily routine in the morning like if I had a long sleep. The first ay at noon I felt like a roller coaster spinning in my head, after a couple cups of coffee I managed to stop it for a while, and I continued the day with the  help of  Panadol. At night I tried hopefully to sleep but my baby was a lot stronger than me and kept me awake for the second night, that at some point I started to break down and cried for her mercy to let me sleep for a whole hour without calling for me, but no response. The next day I was totally out of myself, I wasn't hungry I didn't want to eat, I wanted a big mug of caffeine. At night I had to take my older children to their sports training at the club, and you can't imagine what it is to drive with sleep deprivation!!! You have either to options, one is to drive at 20 km/hr and be insulted by everyone in the street, or drive faster but with no reaction and risking to have an accident. In our way to the club I decided to take the safer approach and trying not to pay attention o people's insults. But in our way back home I was longing to the bed, I decided to pray and drive faster wishing nothing appears in front of me till I reach home. Thank God for his protection, but I entered my house with no nerves that night. I begged my kids not to say a word and to go to sleep as I was already sleeping with eyes wide open. I prayed a lot that my twin kids won't woke up during the night and to let me sleep for 4 continuous hours, that was all I wished for.  And God heard my prayers and I slept :) 

My daughter

Sitting here in almost the same spot in the club every day, just to watch my daughter in her swimming training. I'm so proud of her, even though I appear tough and I'm sure she thinks so, but I am proud of her progress. I love watching her in her trainings and I do care a lot. I know sometimes I can be tough but because of my love I try to teach her to be responsible and strong. I try to teach her that life is not easy and she has to struggle and do her best to achieve and earn her own success. I'm sure she doesn't understand the lesson now, but I hope one day she'll remember and be thankfull. I don't want her to be hurt, I know that's an inevitable destiny but I try to do my best. I want her to face problems with courage and encounter problems with her own strengths. I want to teach her all the lessons I have learnt, and built a stonger personality than mine. I want her to be more than I have ever been.