The real me

Suddenly I realized that I grew up and my daughter  is in  middle school.
I suddenly  assessed my life and realized that I have totally and complete  changed to a different  person. I sat down with myself  and had a nice chat, I am now much more wiser, stronger, resourceful,....etc. I am now older. I am not  aging,  I am just getting older mentally and emotionally. I've always thought that mothers are teaching their children,  but I realized that it's a  whole educational process. I am learning   through motherhood  as much as I'm  teaching my children. I  learn about myself,  my capabilities,  my strengths and weaknesses, my dreams and wishes,  I  learn every day  a new thing about me. And from learning and self knowledge I  start to teach and transfer all the information to my kids. The past 12 years taught me more than my entire educational journey. I am now a new me a much stronger one, I realized that at the same time I'mnot done yet, I still have much to learn,  my kids are growing  and I need to be prepared.
The best part when my little boy cam and told me: "  today in class we talked about super heros.... and I told Mrs. S that my mom is a "Supermom" she can do anything."
That really  brought tears to my eyes. .. it's  a blessing I  thank God for.
Never underestimate yourself and your capabilities,  you are much more than what you think you are.

Yes I am a "tante"

Yes..... I am a " tante ",  and I 'm not ashamed of that name.
A true confession I make; I 'm not getting any younger,  and once little girls are now ladies and they are  calling me "tante".
Yes I am and nothing will scare me,  because I know that it's the circle of life and I have to embrace it now before it's too late and someday I  will realize  that I missed up and I'm now a "cougar" who will never accept her age.
I lived my life as a young girl, and I  cherish every single moment of it. Now I  have to accept that I 'm living a new life as a mature person and letting young kids living their lives.
Yes my girl is now in 7th grade and her friends look  much more different than the past years, they are young ladies and gentlemen, so it's normal that a girl almost my tall will salute me with " Hi tante!" I won't make a big deal out if it. Yes I learnt to accept the title. It's not a scarlet letter to hide from it.  I learn to accept the fact that maybe  7-8 years from now  I 'll be invited to tge the engagement party of one of them.  The same little girl I  used to attend her birthday party  full of pink and crowns is becoming a lady,  and I'm  becoming  more and more "tante".
It's not a pessimistic  point of view at alllll;  it's life, it's  the journey we all take.
So don't get surprised or make fun when you hear a young lady calling me " tante", yes I AM and proud that I earned it.
I'm a young "tante"  full of hope and energy.... a new lovely phase of my life.

Stereotyping

Moms are always categorised into two groups, the working moms ; who are always away in their work environment and have almost no or just few hours to be with their kids.  And stay at home moms ; who are always watching  TV series and talking over the phone or out doing shopping in malls and doing nothing for their kids.
Sterotyping is a major problem.
I, myself, am a stay at home mom and I do not have a moment to stay, I'm always mooving around.  My TV during week days is always shut down.  Kids at school and I'm  overloaded  bearly have time to sip quickly a cup of lattee. And when my kids are home I have no time for myself.  I'm always on their demands. I live in a 24/7 job with no vacation.
And I know many working moms who do their best to have a quality time with their kids and they are always there in their training.  They are doing their maximum effort to compensate their children.
Nobody is perfect or have the perfect life. But each one if us is doing what is more suitable  for our family.
So please stop stereotyping  moms by judging or envying them.
We do not know the behind the picture truth. But for sure everyone  is struggling for the benefit of their children.

Depression

Being a mother is not always a happy time, nor always a frustrated job. But rather ups and downs.
The problem arises when you find yourself going deeper and deeper down and starting with  not enjoying any of the ups in your life.
I faced this problem...and still trying to overcome it till now. Depression is this era disease, it comes slowly in a way you it can't be noticed, everyone around you will try to convince you that  it's a normal phase of being a mother, that you just need a day break to go out for shopping  or hang out with some friends.  But it never fades away by itself.  Some will advise you to pray little bit more, but not every time prayers help. You found yourself sinking  in a deep ocean with no way up. I tried all remedies; spiritual,  religious, relaxation,  herbs...everything  but in vain. Till  the time i started  dreaming of suicide. In a daily basis i dreamt of my death in all possible ways...i started to sit down in my room for the whole day crying with no reason, I  started to not enjoying all the things that used to make me smile.  And one night I decided that i need help, I  can't help myself nor anyone around me can help me. My husband and my mother were against  going to a psychiatric they have that  vision of only loonetic  people in moovies screaming and banging their heads to the wall going to psychiatric. But against their wish i went to see one.
My first visit was so stressful I  felt not on ease talking to a stranger about my life and my deepest  fears. Then it became more easy and comfortable  by time. The first step of the healing was accepting the help and acknowledging that i have a problem. I was overloaded with burdens, and  i stayed strong for so long that all my nerves went down in a second.
After  few months I  feel much more better, I started to regain my normal me...I'm not totally  recovered yet, but I'm  glad with my progress.  I know it will take time. And i will sometimes  face some breakdowns, but I'm learning mot to take everything on my shoulder. Try to leave somethings to time or to someone else to worry about. 
If you ever feel thst you're going through  that mood, always seek medical help, don't  listen to our stereotyping culture that inhibits us and leaves us to drown. You are not alone nor exagerating....seek for help before it's too late.